YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sorry about my life...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
