ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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