I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
