he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
