If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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