Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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