i will never coherently bang her
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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