Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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