why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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