Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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