I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
