I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
