He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
