Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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