I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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