Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
