we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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