Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
