Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
