Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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