everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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