I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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