He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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