Me too!
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
