Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize