Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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