living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Even my vagina gasped.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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