U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
