I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
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and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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