and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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