I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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