I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Randomize
