Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what day is it and did you see me today?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
