There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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