Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
