There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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