fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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