Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
