was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
