Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
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We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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