I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
