Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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