if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
