Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
