He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
