So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
