Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
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i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
my poor anus
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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