Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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