I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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