You're so nebulous sometimes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's never too late to be topless.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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