When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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