So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This baby is an asshole
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
