Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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