If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
