If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize