He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
