yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
