Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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